Friday, May 09, 2003

Really quick hockey note:

Minnesota (The only state in the US that matches the Canadian obsession with hockey) loses their team to Dallas (we all know how huge ICE hockey is in Texas), when the Minnesota North Stars are sold and become the Dallas Stars. Immediately following this, Minnesota fans are heartbroken and Dallas people watch this interesting thing because it is the posh thing to do. (WANKERS!)
The history of the Dallas Stars is full of deceit and Ken Hitchcock, the most dispicable man in hockey. They go on to steal the Stanley Cup on a goal that should not have been allowed.
The NHL decides, hmm, let's give Minnesota a team again and the Minnesota Wild are born (or reborn, depending on your point of view). Needless to say, the Wild fans are fanatical, and the Dallas fans are still wankers (I mean, come on, there is NEVER ice in Texas, and if by some miracle ice actually accumulates somewhere, it makes the front page of the news).
In the year 2003 (yes, I am making a historical story about a current event) the Dallas Stars and the Minnesota Wild are both in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. They both make it through the first round. The second round...both are struggling to defeat their competition. Dallas succumbs to the Might of the Mighty Ducks (mmm...Paul Kariya). The Wild are on the brink of losing to Vancouver. But, lo and behold! They were not to be outdone! The Wild successfully win three games in a row and go on to defeat the Vancouver Canucks!
Dallas Stars, who were once the Minnesota Wild, and went down to Dallas because of profits...are out of the playoffs! The Minnesota Wild, a team with true fans who have gone through heartache, a team that doesn't have the money of Dallas, a team...yes, a team, are still in the playoffs! So now the hockey players of Dallas are participating in a sport that Texas well provides...golf. Poetic justice? I think so.

It's official...I'm back at UB next semester. It seems amazing how trivial huge events become with the passing of a few years, sometimes even months. I tend to believe that this time I've spent in Geneseo will become faded rather quickly. I should start to appreciate the present a lot more, and stop planning soo much for the future. Because, only a few things from my past remain important really. It scares me actually. I think that of everything in this world, how quickly time passes terrifies me the most. It drives me the most to act. I try not to think about it, because when I do, I become really melancholy and remorse. But, it's always there, lurking and waiting....haha! I tried to make that sound like some horrible horror flick narrator's voice. What a mouthful that sentence is! (see how quickly I change the subject? Terrible isn't it!) Well, I'm off to appreciate the moment, or, at least to try.

That reminds me of something that the wise Rachel Sunny always says! "The past is history and the future is a mystery, but right now is a gift, that's why it's called the present!" That was horribly wrong...haha...y'all get the idea though (I hope).

Thursday, May 08, 2003

Just a quick Maya obsession moment. Indulge me here people! I was playing piano, and Maya curled up next right next to the wonderful instrument and just napped. I love my stinky little baby! And, she sure is stankass these days. Only a week until she gets cut and bathed!! Her summer haircut is the cutest thing in the world, it makes her look like a puppy again, considering how small she is in the first place. Is it normal to think about your doggy and start crying when you realize that they aren't going to live for a very long time? Maya is 12, and sometimes, usually when I am trying to sleep, I really do cry when I think about Maya dying...oh my gosh! I'm getting tears right now. I need therapy...or some Maya love...I think I'll take the latter :)

Also...the girl that used the notebook paper for toilet paper was not, I repeat, was NOT Jenn Tuttle

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

http://anthology.blogspot.com

This is where I'm posting some stuff now. Some may be good, some may be bad...but it's sorta my testing ground and a place to start building confidence in sharing my strangely written words with the world. In the future I shall post a serious story called Birds, a crazy story called Oscar, and than a silly story called a Veggie's Tale, as well as sprinklings of poetry. And, if you are looking for something consistant in terms of a style...than, please...don't read what I write. There is none. As with many things in my life! And, I like it that way, so, bugger off!!!

Interesting stories that NEED to be related:
The first is not for the faint of heart
A certain friend who shall remain anonymous living with a friend who shall also remain anonymous ran out of toilet paper. Now, instead of going ahead and resupplying the bathroom with the afore-said object, they used items such as paper towels, napkins, etc to fulfill their needs. One day this one anonymous girl had a sudden stomach-ache. Realizing the urgency of the situation, she grabbed the closest thing she could come up with to subsitute for the toilet product. A Five-Star notebook. When her stomach (and mostly bowels) were relieved of the foreign object making her ill, she was faced with the omnious task of cleaning herself with paper (college-ruled of course). To mis-quote this girl "You have to fold it in half, or it doesn't work. You can't just bunch it up." So, she finished the process and went about her day. Does the story end there? Oh no! The other anonymous roommate went to the bathroom a bit later in the day only to find "paper with shit all over it in the garbage can." That's right, the paper was not flushed. It was thrown away and left in the garbage can. Why you ask? Out of sensitivity to the delicate plumbing.

This incident however, is for the entire world to hear, unless you are English, in which case you will be saddened:
As my sister, her friend, and I were watching Harry Potter, the following conversation ensued:
Erin: "English people are ugly."
Me: "hahaha"
Erin: "Seriously, they've been around too long, I think that they've mutated."
Me: "that's awesome"
Later during the movie,
Dave: "yeah, English people are ugly"

More conversations that need to be repeated:
Jenn Tuttle: "I used to hate Dave with a passion that burned inside of me like herpes."

Me: "If you ever want to share a ho-ho, give me a call"

Brenna: "We've bonded over shoes, beer, and cloves...we're best friends"
Me: "Best friends for life."

And to round out my stories and conversations:
Claudia: "She must have been like, why is there chocolate milk all over the paper?"
(Think about that one...and think about the five-star notebook story...a piece of the puzzle has been revealed...I will say no more)

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

I can hear Take my breath away in the background, and all I can think of is Tom Cruise. I can't possibly imagine why! So, I am in Buffalo visiting my mateys. It's strange that I'm coming back here. But, it's happy! I am also going to start attempting to get my stories and poems published. I have decided to officially enter the world of the writer and go ahead with it. I have to have confidence about my abilities, and I have to believe that I have talent enough to make it somewhere. My friend and I have started another blogspot to publish any writing that we are doing. A few other people are also part of it. It's really exciting, no, exhilirating! to share my work with the world (no matter how small that world is for the moment). I feel like it's what I should be doing though, where I should be. Well....I'm being beckoned off to another part of the apartment. So, I'm off to find some stories :)

Monday, May 05, 2003

A Woman's Recipe
Written by me! :)

Nope.
Sorry,
Let me take that back,
No need for me to apologize,
See, I don’t care anymore
Your mistake
It was you who lied.
Now I am wise.
Get out!
I say
And give me my pride.
It is time you tried
A piece of my pie.

A bit of sass I put in the crust
With sprinklings of womankind to the touch.
The filling you ask?
Well, that’s all of my best stuff.
My brains,
My power,
And anger enough
Don’t like it??

Tough!

Get out!
I yell
Don’t give me that look.
See, I learned the secret of your spell,
And as you can tell
Things are going to be different round here
I’m going to take myself to heaven
And send you to hell.

So let me rephrase
What I’ve been trying to say
Get out for good
And get out of my way.

Stream of consciousness essay writing...the dawning of a new era....ok, so it's not that new, well, I suppose that there are more than one masters of this form of writing and doing work out there, in fact, I'm sure a few bonafide masters are reading this right now and thinking "please child, I've been doing that for years...welcome to the club" and on that note, have you ever made yourself a stream of consciousness away message!?? huh huh!?? Have ya?? Have ya?? well, I have...you just read it! MWHAHAHA! Bow down to the master....this thing needs a thesaurus...I can't think of another word for master....whatever.

I wrote this a few moments ago....and I realized, I've done more writing in this thing, and for my away messages, than for my essay...I am just sitting in front of my computer, writing a sentence here, a sentence there, and than doing something more interesting, like writing about nothing! I am going to write a novel about nothing. If Seinfeld can make a successful show out of it, than I sure as all hell can make a successful book about it! And, the sequel will be called a book about something. Just like my senior year t-shirt. If you missed that reference, than you were not fortunate enough to graduate from Penfield High School, in the year 2000. One day, if you're lucky, I'll explain what it means to you...kid. (using kid there just seemed appropriate...I feel like I should hop on a horse, adjust my cowboy hat, and gallop away into the sunset...or maybe I should first adjust my cowboy hat, and than hop on a horse, than ride away into the sunset....or, maybe I shouldn't ride into a sunset at all, because than I'd just be really hot...and so maybe I should adjust my cowboy hat, hop on a horse, and ride away towards the mountains....but than, maybe I should hop on a horse first, cause I probably would mess up my cowboy hat by hoppin on a horse in the first place, and that would negate the whole purpose of adjusting the hat...so, yeah, I'm going to hop on a horse, adjust my cowboy hat, and gallop towards the mountains...I have a headache now...) So...I'm going to finish my essay now.

Not that I care...but does quoting the Daily Show and talking about Conan O'Brien officially make me a dork??

Why I love the Daily Show, by Colleen McCollough

On Children:
"We've all heard it before. It's an age-old saying that the children are the future. Our society bends over backward for the children. We feed them. We clothe them. We educate them ... But are children really worth the investment? [close-up on Corddry with narrowed eyes and a belligerently tilted jaw] I mean, come on!"

Regarding how Vietnam has gone without SARS for 20 days:
The medical triumph is set to be the subject of the forthcoming movie '20 days and 20 nights,' starring Josh Hartnett as a man who makes a bet that he can go the eponymous length of time without contracting the potentially deadly virus. The good part is, he's allowed to bang anything that moves.

On baseball fans:
In what may finally force English soccer hooligans to stop calling baseball fans "tossers," a man ran onto the field and attacked an umpire last week during a Kansas City Royals/ Chicago White Sox game. He was charged with felony-aggravated battery, as well as with scoring the biggest crowd reaction on the Jumbotron since the dogs were let out.

On SARS and baseball:
Major league baseball players from American teams visiting Toronto have been advised to remain vigilant against contracting SARS, in keeping with what has long been considered the cardinal rule of the sport: "There's no dying in baseball!"
The hope is that by following a few common-sense suggestions, the traveling pro athletes will be able to avoid sars and only be at risk of contracting gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, hepatitis, and/or child support.

Iraq:
American forces last week nabbed the man who for years served as the public face of the Iraqi regime, deputy Prime minister Tariq Aziz. Aziz represents not only the biggest catch of the war so far, but also the biggest pair of glasses of the war so far.
Aziz was apparently hiding in plain sight, holed up at the Baghdad home of one of his daughters, when American troops came calling. Even then, he was only lured into opening the door when US soldiers posed as "Jehovah's Witnesses."
Defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld commented simply on Aziz, stating, "He is significant. We think he could be interesting." Rumsfeld noted that it would be impossible to determine precisely how interesting Aziz is until he has been debriefed of all fishing stories and thoroughly asked about his grandchildren.

On Taxes for driving in Central London, and a little History:
Founding Father Benjamin Franklin once quipped, nothing is certain in life except death and taxes. If you pound a few margaritas, hop in your ride, and drunkenly speed through central London, now you can get both of them over with at the same time.

and finally On America:
AMERICA FREAKS OUT II: THE RE-FREAKENING
Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge has unveiled the "Be Ready" ad campaign to help Americans prepare for a terrorist attack. The name "Be Ready" was chosen after "Oh Dear Christ, There's Nothing We Can Do To Stop It, Save Yourself", was deemed too downbeat.
The campaign will rely on donated air time and ad space, and one "Be Ready" billboard will be going up in New York's Times Square later this month as an additional provocation to any terrorists with long-range weapons and a delicious sense of irony.
The Be Ready.gov website also has simple, downloadable visual guides with information about surviving several different types of attacks. This useful chart illustrates that there's more radiation at the center of a nuclear blast than there is farther away from it. It also recommends moving away from that area.

Ok, so I didn't really write any of it...but, those were just headlines...ok, so the one about children wasn't a headline...but the rest were, and the segments are even funnier! All should watch it...

Next up; Conan O'Brien...the sexiest redhead in the world!?

Sunday, May 04, 2003

Phenomenal Woman
by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
the span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.


Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.


What a difference an inhaler makes! I ran soo much more easily today after using an inhaler...no chest pain, and I wasn't nearly as winded...crazy. So, this weekend has had some amusing encounters. My sister and I met a five year old walking Maya, and she introduced us to her half-brother Chris. My sister said "hi half-brother Chris" and she said "people usually just call him Chris." It was highly amusing. Also, on the same walk, Maya proved herself to be the most unathletic dog in the history of the world. We were trying to get her to chase a tennis ball, but all she would do is run past it. She had zero concept of playing fetch. We decided that if she were human, she'd be one of those totally unathletic girls that do horrible in gym class. Whoever said all dogs were athletic has not met Maya. It's thinking like that that has undone society!!! Just like the thinking that most people would assume that a porcupine's favorite plant is a cactus! Or something like that :) I am also seriously disapointed, Anaheim lost yesterday. Which means that Dallas has not been eliminated yet!!! Which must happen.
Something really strange is starting to happen to me...I am starting to have self-confidence! I mean, real self-confidence...even about my body. I don't know if it's the running, the new clothes (including two really awesome new skirts that I bought yesterday, for the cheapest price!!) maybe traveling helped, or being more social, but it's happening! I noticed the change today when I was running, instead of thinking how much weight I'll lose, I was only worried about being in shape. I wasn't even trying to make myself focus on that, it just happened. I was thinking, being fit and healthy, that'll be nice. I've also decided that I'll look very sickly if I lose 30 pounds, which was my goal. That's just too much, and I don't need that...so, I am not really focused on losing any weight. It just feels really nice to genuinely feel happy about who you are as a person. And even how you look, (shocking isn't it?). I was worried recently that returning to UB, going out and being social, trying to look nice, were all symptoms of me not being true to who I was, since in the past, that's exactly what it has meant. But, I think that it's not the case this time. I think that I've just learned to like myself...maybe even love myself...and that it's all just part of having confidence. When I look at the clothes I've acquired, for example, they are me...my style. Before I was just dressing in hoochy mama outfits that didn't really suit my personality, and I was doing things and going places that weren't me, and I was miserable, and hated myself. So, there is a difference. I am happy that I'm embracing myself. I no longer feel compelled to hide my talents, and I no longer feel the need to apologize for who I am. I am proud that I am an assertive girl, no woman, that isn't afraid to explore and figure out where I really want to be. Now I understand Maya Angelou when she wrote Phenomenal Woman. Every girl should have a copy of that hanging on her mirror to remind herself that she is phenomenal. And, a picture of the naked heavy lady running on a beach...it's the most liberating picture ever. She's soo happy! And, she doesn't care that she's not beautiful in societies eyes. it's great! Hmm...I'm going to find to find that poem now...soo good!