Saturday, October 04, 2003

The end of puberty...apparantly nowhere in sight

I hate zits...yet, my face has a plethera of them. I thought that this was a problem for the young ones undergoing a great change of their own. When their sweet child voices become harsh and ugly...and well, they do too. mehmehmehmeh. Seriously though, 50% of them will grow out of that. mehmeh.

Enough laughing like a mad scientist.

Apparantly, I didn't get the memo to tell my face to stop being oily and pepperoni-like as that phase of my life has past. Or, was that memo about TPS reports? (note to loyal readers, haha...anyways, I can't figure out how to replicate snobbish laughing by utilizing letters from our alphabet...perhaps I shall use the Chinese alphabet! Snobbish laughing ensues)

Surely this is just a symptom of better things to come!!! Or, this is just a symptom that I better be thankful I don't have braces anymore. Think about that one, I'm sure it makes sense to one of you.

Gentle readers (side note: I was once listening to NPR, and there was an article being read by some NPR guy, and the author kept referring to the listeners as gentle and dear...and I hated it! Especially as I continually cursed at bad drivers. point is, that's just condescending and bad technique! how do you know we're all gentle? Someone listening I bet is a wife-abuser, mob-man, George W. Bush...the list could go on and on. There's no shame in being a little rough around the edges! AND, if you're sitting there thinking, well Colleen, you wrote that we're gentle and loyal readers, I answer you this: I did it to be ironic! HMPH!) So, gentle readers, I...ummm....f***en A!...I lost my point. B**** a** mother F***ers!

Peter Brady!?

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Eastward Bound; a Hippie with a Degree

Sometimes living in this apartment is RIGHT NOW! The other night, as I was dozing off to the land of dreams, or salivating upon pillows (depends whether you're an optimist or pessimist) I heard a crash. And, my heartrate increased and my irrational fears took over. I kept thinking back to "Bowling for Columbine" and how Terry Nichols brother had a gun under his pillow, and I kept thinking, how smart. That's right...HOW SMART! That's just crazy talk! The other thought that popped through my head was "If I run real fast and grab my knife, I could go undetected by the bad men, and be safe!" Needless to say, I couldn't have been that frightened as I did eventually fall asleep.

However, right now, there was an odd noise followed by another odd noise. "House settling" noises as your mother probably told you when you were little. That is just silly, house settling noises are garbage! Anyways...I'm not soo frightened right now. The weirdest part of the whole irrational fear thing is how just plain stupid a person (well, me!) reacts. I always think "if I stay in this spot, I'll be safe". As if the intruder couldn't find me in plain sight in my two room apartment (four including bathroom and kitchen)

It's times like these that I wish I had training in Judo.

So, my life (almost) has direction! I thought to myself....self, what do you like, and what do you want to get out of your life? And I said...that's easy! Help people, help the planet, run for office, in a position to be a philanthropist!....ooh, invent a cure for cancer, hunger, global warming, etc. etc., be really hot and have a hot husband....spread love and joy, be secretariat general of the UN!, be alive when evolution gives chimpanzees the ability for spoken language, and be a forerunner for equal citizenship of chimpanzees!, travel the world and visit every continenent, attempt to see every country, etc. etc. you can see I have direction at last :) Seriously though, I do have a better idea of what I want to be doing. I'm actually prepared to go back to school after I travel and work for a few years, to study natural resources and conservation, or environmental policy, or something along this level. I have even looked at schools (are you shocked!). My favorites being (a far far reach, but I'll apply for the hell of it!) Harvard...and than the schools that are realistic for me: University of Edinburgh (all the way in Scotland), Boston University, and SUNY ESF (Environmental science and forestry). This is just a primary idea, however, I love Massachusetts, I love Scotland, and these are the schools that I have always wanted to be at.

But first! I am eastward bound. I have almost decided that after studying in South Africa I will work in New Zealand for six months. There's a company that allows me to do this quite easily. I'd love to live and work in Wellington, or on the ski slopes...and as I will already be used to the seasons being completely opposite of where I live (in South Africa this is how it is) I shall have no problem with this! And than, after six months of New Zealand, I want to work in Europe...than, off to school...and than! Who knows, and who cares.

As always, expect changes. All who have known me are well aware of my frequent last minute, life altering changes that I so enjoy indulging in. I see my plans as more of a guide than a set course. I am still searching and keeping my eyes wide open to new paths and possibilities. I do not like the idea of keeping myself locked into plans that do not concern me tomorrow. I do not wish to hem my growth in any way.

I once took this online silly test in which I looked at a bunch of ink blots and answered questions about them. In the end, it turns out that my subconscious is driven by curiosity. I think about that sometimes, and wonder about it.

Monday, September 29, 2003


Southern California Wants to Be Western New York
Dar Williams

There's a part of the country could drop off tomorrow in an earthquake,
Yeah, it's out there on the cutting edge, the people move, the sidwalks shake.
And there's another part of the country with a land that gently creaks and thuds,
Where the heavy snows make faucets leak in bathrooms with free-standing tubs.
They're in houses that are haunted, the with kids who lie awake and think about
All the generations past who used to use that dripping sink.

And sometimes one place wants to slip into the other just to see
What it's like to trade its demons for the restless ghost of Mrs. Ogilvey,
She used to pick the mint from her front yard to dress the Sunday pork,
Sometimes southern California wants to be western New York.

It wants to have a family business in sheet metal or power tools,
It wants to have a diner where the coffee tastes like diesel fuel,
And it wants to find the glory of a town they say has hit the skids,
And it wants to have a snow day that will turn its parents into kids,
And it's embarrassed, but it's lusting after a SUNY student with mousy brown hair who is
Taking out the compost, making coffee in long underwear.

And southern California says to save a place, I'll meet you there,
And it tried to pack up its Miata, all it could fit was a prayer,
Sometimes the stakes are bogus, sometimes the fast lane hits a fork,
Sometimes southern California wants to be western New York.

Tempe, Arizona thinks the Everglades are greener and wetter,
And Washington, D.C. thinks that Atlanta integrated better,
But I think that southern California has more pain that we can say,
'Cause it wants to travel back in time, but it just can't leave L.A.

But now I hear they've got a theme park planned, designed to make you gasp and say,
Oh, I bet that crumbling mill town was a booming mill town in its day,
And the old investors scoff at this, but the young ones hope they'll take a chance,
And they promise it will make more dough than Mickey Mouse in northern France,
And the planners planned an opening day, a town historian will host,
And the waitresses look like waitresses who want to leave for the west coast.

And they'll have puttering on rainy weekends, autumn days that make you feel sad,
They'll have hundred year old plumbing and the family you never had,
And a Hudson River clean-up concert and a bundle-bearing stork,
And I hear they've got a menu planned, it's trés western New York.