Tuesday, April 20, 2004

A new drug

The first thing that went through my head was "this is insane"....followed by "holy shit I am falling from a plane"...and looking up I could see where we came from. An open door of a plane, filled with four others about to make their plunge, totally unnatural and completely terrifying. "Arms out idiot" came last. Immediately the earth stopped moving, the air started whizzing, and I was floating.
Thirty seconds.
Three seconds of panic, twenty-six of flying, and one of disapointment accompanying the sound of a parachute. Thirty seconds to change my life.
I have counted to thirty before. I have counted in many languages, struggling in English when I learned there were numbers to count. I have hidden behind doors, counting aloud to thirty, running when my time is right. Thirty seconds. It had become a time to count before tea was ready, before the hot cloth on my aching ear could be removed, before the bell would ring and I could be released. Thirty seconds had even become sufficient time to be ready to leave.
But this thirty seconds.
This thirty seconds was air, was floating, was Peter Pan come true. Here was neverland reached. Jumping from a couch wouldn't work, jumping from 10,000 could.
A million thirty seconds have come and gone, I am ready to make them count again. I had dreamed this experience, I had feared it my whole life.
Amelia lives through me now.
Thirty seconds.
Count it now, grounded and safe.
It's short....but how it can make time grow.
Thirty seconds.
Thirty lifetimes.
Who knew?